Beth Shalom
Oceanside Jewish Center

"With our sons and daughters we will go"
How Inclusive Should We Be?
January 11, 2002 - 8 Shevat 5763

Parshat Bo
By Rabbi Mark B. Greenspan

By now, those of you who know me and who have listened to my sermons know, generally speaking, I'm not a controversial public speaker. I figure that there's plenty to teach people about our tradition without causing disagreement and discord on Shabbat morning. Rabbis ought to promote peace and not war, though we're not always successful in doing that.

Today, I suspect, may be an exception. I believe that there are certain issues that are too important to ignore and too significant to put on the back burner of Jewish life. One of those issues is the inclusion of Gays and Lesbians in the Jewish community.

So let me begin by saying from the very outset that while I have a growing moral conviction on this issue, I'm here this morning to raise questions and not necessarily solve all the problems. There is a serious debate looming in the Conservative movement just over the horizon that's about to come to the surface on this particular issue. It has already appeared on the front page of the Jewish Week and the English edition of the Forward. As a congregation I believe we need to think about these questions and engage in a serious dialogue about them.

Homosexuality and Jewish life is certainly not a new issue. Last year a powerful film aired called "Trembling before God" about the struggles of gays and lesbians within the Orthodox community. This film inspired a great deal of discussion in Orthodox synagogues. Still, Orthodox Rabbis were not about to change Jewish law because of one film or ignore the prohibition against homosexuality found in the book of Leviticus. In the Reform movement, on the other hand, homosexuality is not really an issue - there has long been a precedent for ordaining and embracing Homosexuals. Many Reform rabbis perform commitment ceremonies.

So where do we stand as Conservative Jews on this issue? Over a decade ago the Rabbinical Assembly issued a Pastoral letter addressing sexuality. One of the topics in this essay was homosexuality. Following a series of resolutions issued by both United Synagogue and the RA, the authors of this letter said that we must reach out to Gay and Lesbians and welcome them into our congregations. But our movement also affirmed a prohibition against ordaining homosexuals as Rabbis or Cantors. We also said that Conservative Rabbis cannot perform commitment ceremonies for gay couples. A resolution of the Committee on Jewish law and standards said that whether homosexuals may function as teachers and youth leaders in our congregations is left to the local Rabbi and his reading of Jewish law.

One might say that our movement sent a mixed message to the Jewish community, one which welcomed homosexuals on the one hand but placed limits and implied criticism on the other. In a larger sense, this discussion raises a question of inclusivity in the Jewish community. Are there boundaries in Jewish life? If so, where do we draw them? Who's in and who's out? How do we wrestle with the values of the Torah and still embrace those whose life style does not seem to be in accord with what we consider a normative Jewish family?

The issue of inclusivity is at the heart of the story of the Exodus. The debate between Moses and Pharaoh about who could leave Egypt to worship God is really a question of who makes us the worshipping, living community. After all, Moses does not ask Pharaoh to free the Israelites but merely to allow them to go to the wilderness and worship God. And Pharaoh, for his part, has a different understanding of what that means.

At the outset of this discussion Moses says, "Let my people go!" With each ensuing plague, Pharaoh slowly begins to cave in and agrees to allow at least a segment but not the entire community to leave Egypt. As our Torah portion opens today, Moses and Aaron come to Pharaoh after the first seven plagues. This time Pharaoh agrees to allow Israel to worship God, but he can see no reason why the entire community must go. After all, only the men and the elders are needed for a Minyan. So Pharaoh suggests that men go but that that the women and children remain behind.

Moses and Pharaoh have a very different understanding of worship. Israel cannot worship God unless the entire community is allowed to participate. For Moses a partial community is an impaired community. "No," says Moses, "the entire community must go." "The young and the old, our sons and our daughters must go for we must observe the Lord's festival." Later in the book of Deuteronomy Moses again affirms this when he says: "You stand this day, all of you, before the Lord your God - your tribal leaders, your elders and officials, all the men of Israel, your children, your wives, and even the strangers within your camp from the woodchopper to the water drawer¦" In the words of Etz Hayim, "the whole of the community is greater than the sum of its parts."

This idea of inclusivity has been a fundamental principle of Conservative Judaism and how we interpret Jewish law. It underlies the idea of Klal Yisrael - that we are one community made of many diverse parts. It certainly was a deciding principle in our discussion of the inclusion of women in synagogue life two decades ago. But now we must ask ourselves what it means for those whose lifestyle is different from our own. In what ways are we an inclusive community? Certainly there are boundaries that demarcate the limits of Jewish life, but how do we embrace not only our sons and daughters but the strangers in our midst - those who are part of the covenant but different than the rest of us?

It's fine to welcome gays and lesbians into the Jewish community but what are we telling them when we say that we cannot acknowledge the significant relationships in their lives or that they cannot assume the mantle of leadership in the Jewish community? And yet Jewish law would appear to be unequivocal on the issue of homosexuality.

The Torah describes acts of homosexual sex as a to'evah, an abomination. But what does it mean? Toevah is used to describe a wide variety of different actions some of which we might not condone but which we certianly wouldn't eclude from our congregation. So how can we condemn those who are homosexuals to life long celibacy as one Rabbi advises in the movie, "Trembling before God?" We're caught between our commitment to Halachah on the one hand and our awareness of the realities of life on the other. It's hard for me to accept that the Jewish law is cruel in denying the needs of those who are different from me but it's equally hard for me to ignore my sense of obligation to Jewish law. As Conservative Jews we are torn...

Let me suggest what I see as two crucial issues in this discussion today that we must take into consideration. First, Halachah can only obligate us to perform acts that we are humanly capable of performing. A man who is missing an arm cannot be considered to be obligated to put on Tefillin. Similarly, I find it hard to accept that Jewish law condemns those who are most likely born hard wired to be homosexuals to loveless and lonely lives because they can not maintain a heterosexual relationship. Love, after all is about more than sex. It's about intimacy, companionship and partnership. It seems to me, then, that as our understanding of homosexuality changes our perception of Jewish law must change as well.

Second, I'd like to suggest that if there is such a thing as a Jewish sexual ethic, then its goal is to promote relationships that are mutually respectful, caring and loving and monogamous. Its goal is to discourage promiscuity and dangerous, unhealthy sexual life styles. When we fail to acknowledge the validity of a caring, intimate homosexual relationship, we also loose the opportunity to engage entire segment of the Jewish community in developing a sane and moral sexual ethic and this ought to be our primary goal.

So how inclusive should we be? We cannot welcome homosexuals into our congregations and then pretend that their relationships do not exist. We must search for ways to address who they are within the context of Halachah. Our ancestors could not imagine such a thing but we live in a different world with a different understanding of human biology and psychology.

I offer no solutions this morning -- only a strong sense of moral conviction. Maybe its that willingness to wrestle that makes us Conservative Jews. We must wrestle with this issues and consider who we are. I don't believe its enough to wait until someone asks the question. For once I would like to see the Conservative movement be proactive rather than reactive.

"We will go forth with our sons and our daughters." These were the courageous words of Moses to Pharaoh. Our great teacher made no distinctions - the Exodus was for all Jews of all backgrounds. Should we do any less today in welcoming those who are committed to the continuity of Jewish life?

Shabbat Shalom