Beth Shalom
Oceanside Jewish Center

Signed and Sealed: How We Greet Each Other
on Rosh Hashanah
Erev Rosh Hashanah
By Rabbi Mark Greenspan

Quick, how do two Jews greet one another at this time of year? What do they say? The answer to this question actually depends who you are and what day it is!

Sometimes I wonder why we have to make everything so complicated! For our neighbors, a simple “Merry Christmas” or “Happy New Year” suffices. For us, the subtle changes of this holy season are marked with the unique way in which we greet one another from the beginning of the month of Elul until Hoshanah Rabbah, the final day of Sukkot.

For weeks now people have been greeting me with a simple “Lishanah Tova,” literally “For a good year.”But this _expression by itself doesn”t really make much sense. “a good year for what?” Actually “Lishanah Tova” is a short hand for a longer greeting, “Lishanah Tova tikatev v”techatem. “ May you be written and sealed for a good year.”

The traditional Rosh Hashanah greetings make reference to our hope that we will be written and sealed in the book of life during this time of judgment for a year of blessing and at the very least for life itself. In the Unetaneh Tokef prayer which we recite tomorrow morning, we say “On Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed.”During the Ten Days of Repentance, then, our fate is signed and sealed.

Now, depending to whom you”re speaking, the form of this greeting changes. If the recipient of the greeting is a woman, then you say, “Lishanah Tova Tikateivi vitechateimi,” and if you”re greeting a group of people, it becomes “Lishanah Tova tikateivu vitechateimu,”but that’s getting into some complicated grammar and I know you want to get home for dinner. So the easiest thing to do is to say Ketiva v’chateema tova: “A good signing and sealing,” since this greeting is the same for everyone! So let’s try it! Everyone repeat after me ….

But that only works tonight. Tomorrow, following services if you greet your neighbor by expressing the hope that they should be written and sealed in the book of life, then you”re actually insulting him/her. As Jews we assume that everyone around us is righteous enough to be immediately written in the book of life. Only the ordinary and the wicked (God forbid!) will have not been written in the book of life immediately; their fate hangs in the balance until Yom Kippur or even as late as Hoshanah Rabbah.

So we assume the best about our neighbors and change our greeting to “G’ar Hatimah Tova”, “May you be sealed and confirmed for good,” the assumption being that the writing was already done on the eve of Rosh Hashanah! During this season of judgment we are encouraged to think the best about our family and friends.

I believe that there’s a lesson to be learned from these greetings. One of our basic Jewish values is Hakarat Hatov: seeing the good in others. It’s easy to be a critic and to pick away at our neighbors and loved ones, especially at this time of year. In fact we secretly and not so secretly admire such a critical nature. Look at Simon Cowell, the caustic judge on “American Idol.”America gleefully watched this television show each week to see how Simon would demean and insult contestant after contestant. In fact that’s what reality TV is all about: catching people at their worst and finding ways to criticize them. Judaism encourages us to search out and find the good in one another instead of seeing the faults and weaknesses in others.

After the first night of Rosh Hashanah we”re encouraged to assume the best about our neighbors and friends, but not about ourselves. They may have been judged positively but we cannot be so sure that we deserve such a positive judgment. We know the truth about our own behavior. Do we deserve to be written in the book of life? We should begin this season by saying “The only person who needs the extra Ten Days of Repentance is me, no one else.

A Hasidic teacher put it like this. God created us with two eyes for a reason. One is to see the good in others and the other is to see the faults in ourselves.

But maybe there’s some truth in this etymological insight. As any optometrist will tell you that a person with only one good eye is lacking in perspective and depth perception. Similarly, having two eyes, one to see our faults and one to see the good in others, gives us a good moral perspective on the world. We can never really know what’s in another person’s heart or in their life. “Don’t judge another until you have stood in his/her place.’that’s not just a Native American maxim, it’s also Pirke Avot!

As we begin the High Holy Days lets see if we can leave judgment at the door. The only judge in synagogue should be God. If nothing else let’s see if we can use these few hours we spend together in shul avoiding Lashon Harah, gossip. If we can do that we will have accomplished a great deal.

Getting back to our holiday greetings let me share yet another blessing with you that some people use at this time of year. It is Shnat Gefen, “May you be blessed with “A Year of the vine.” Gefen is an acronym for Gezunt, Parnassah and Nachas: health, livelihood, and Nachas. This last word is really untranslatable. Nachas is a combination of pleasure and pride from your loved ones. It’s what our children give us when they are good!

And that’s what I wish all of you!!

Lishanah Tova Tikateivu Vitechateimu.

May you be written and sealed in the book of life!

And may it be a life filled with Gefen!